You know the brand Heelys? The pair of chunky looking shoes which can easily kill a large cow if you hurl it over *Pak Mat's fence, comes with a small pair of wheels right underneath the heels area, hence the name "Heelys". A pair of chunky shoes that cost between 400 - 500 bucks a pair *eyes pop out* for the original of course. And we all know once something original hits our Malaysian shores, it's only a matter of time before the imitations start rolling along *hehe* Hello, this is Malaysia laahhhh... Now can get Heelys for below 150 bucks lah., maybe even less.
I'm sure we all had our fair share of encounters with Heelys. Either you own a pair, or you've almost been 'heeled' by one or two (or more) during your many *jalan-jalan outings. Heelys are everywhere! In the shopping malls, in the pasar malam, in the park... that damn shoe is seen everywhere. It's like they're taking over the planet or something. And most of the time, those Heelys are on some kid's foot. It's bad enough that some kids have a tendency to run around like some jakun, it's much worse when they have a pair of Heelys to speed up their mobility. They're invincible when they have their Heelys. They speed right pass you, next to you, in front of you, across your path, right at you! They come from all directions!
The most distinctive sounds of a Heely - *keduk-keduk-keduk-keduk* as the wheels underneath crosses each tile on the floor. Gone were the days when you've to watch your step just in case you might accidently trample or knock some short kid who only looks at the floor when they're walking. Now kids no longer walk, they heel. And they don't care if they crash into you. You're suppose to get out of their way. It's their grandfather's road mar, they would like to think that way. And if you're wearing any open toe sandals or heels, beware. Those kids might just conveniently heel right across your lovely toes. SWWOOSSSHHH! AAAAIIIIIIEEEE!!!! You know how kids are, some of them can be really stupid. And watch out for the chubby ones, they're clumsy oafs.
Many times I was really tempted to just extend my foot out just a little bit, and tumble some kid with Heely :P Yes I can be mean :P But those kids with Heelys are such pests ok. They heel everywhere, disregarding the dangers involve. You could be carrying some really-delicious-to-die-for-Burger-King-Double-Swiss-Mushroom-burger, and out of no where some Heely kid would come heeling at you at tops speeds of 40kph, loses control and WHAM!!! Not only will your really-delicious-to-die-for-Burger-King-Double-Swiss-Mushroom-burger be ruined, the damn kid would be crying and his mum would probably be whacking your head with her handbag for being in the path of her bratty child. Or maybe some old man is walking along, and some heely kid crashes into him. Hey! This could mean some broken bones for the old man! His family will sue! All because some stupid kid decides that he can be the next Schumacher on heels. There should be a ban on those Heelys. No Heelys allowed in public areas *blek blek*.
In simple mathematical terms: Heelys + Stupid kids = Nerve Wrecking + Physical + Emotional + Mental Damage to Innocent Pedestrians
I think there's a hidden conspiracy going on with the invention of the Heely. You know how if you wanna heel around, you're suppose to lift your heels up? Prolong heeling can actually cause some damage to your legs you know. Cos your foot isn't in it's natural position. Just imagine lifting your heels up for a long period... Not very comfortable huh? And what will you do when you feel pain at your foot? You see the foot doctor. And the foot doctor will probably charge you kau-kau for consultation and therapy. First you spend one lump sum getting the Heelys. Then you spend another lump sum on doctor's fees. You see where this is getting at? Do you? Do you?
*Pak Mat : typical malay name... dunno how to explain lar XD
*jalan-jalan : walking around
Wednesday, September 15, 2004