What's A Paramesium?
A conversation between my colleagues this morning. They were doing some voice recording.

"wat's a paramesium?"

"isn't dat a micro-organism... sumthing?"

"eh wait. it's a single cell organism...."

"oh, i thot it was sumthing parameswara discovered"

"AKKAKKAKKAKKAAKAKAKKAKKAA"


Yes, some of us failed our science :P I passed it ok...

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They Are Innocent
It's very troubling when you hear cases like parents going through divorce and fighting for custodies. Both parents love their kids, and both want to have the custody to raise and nurture their kids. But ever so often we read cases like these: Man strangles daughters & son, then hands himself. Quote from The Star Online:

"Lorry transport operator Liau Kok Keong loved his three children so much that he was not prepared to lose them to his estranged wife.

When told that he might lose them in the event of a custody battle, he strangled his two daughters and only son before taking his own life.

Liau, who was separated from his wife, a clerk, two weeks ago, had sought advice from a lawyer and was apparently told that he might lose custody of his children if they divorced; as his wife earned more than him."

What is so disturbing about this news is... the father was willing to take his children's life and of his own, rather than settle for a divorce and seek for joint custody/visitation rights. I'm not saying what he's doing is right or wrong. Perhaps to Liau, he was doing the right thing. If he can't have his kids, he'll make sure his wife can't have them either. In society's eyes, that method is totally absurd and wrong. You took their lives away, hence that makes you a murderer. And because you'll be branded a murderer, you would rather die with them. That makes you a selfish man.

Now before we start making any assumptions, bear in mind what we know so far is what's being reported in the papers. The Liau family could be having some marital problems or other problems which the rest of the word isn't aware of. Taking your life and of your kids will not solve any problems, it can only worsen the problem and hurt the people around you. What was Liau thinking? His family is hurt, her kids' friends are crying buckets of tears, the mother is totally in shock over the fact all her kids are dead. Did he solve anything? On one side, maybe he did - he solved HIS problem. He'll always be with his kids now, nothing can separate them anymore. Look again and you'll see the trail of grief Liau left behind.

To all parents out there, please think of your own flesh & blood before you attempt to do anything stupid. Children are innocent, do not put them through the difficult course you're going through. Even if the both of you (wife & husband) feel that you cannot live in a marriage anymore, and that divorce is the only way out, think of your kids. There's always counselling, there's always people out there that are willing to land a helping hand. Talk to people, share your problems. And always talk to your kids, they have every right to know what is going on in the family. If a divorce is unavoidable, at least work something out so that the kids can still bond with both parents. Visitation rights perhaps, joint custody, whatever is possible and applicable by the law.

On another note, I found out about Blogshares. Quote "BlogShares is a fantasy stock market where weblogs are the companies. Players invest fictional dollars on shares in blogs. Blogs are valued by their incoming links and add value to other blogs by linking to them." The image below shows my blog value :P

Check your blogshare out here.

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Sealed Lips
I'll keep quiet if I were you. No doubt it's one juicy bit of news, but I'll keep it to myself if I know what's good for me. Grapevine is very common is every organisation, be it a big organisation or a small one. The tougue is considered the most dreadful tool, a weapon. The tougue can bring down large corporate organisations, dynasties, relationships, just about anything. I know how much you want to share the information you know with your colleagues. But may I suggest to just zip it and throw the idea aside. There's really no need to tell anyone about it. You know something about it, it's very interesting, it's juicy as well. It's bound to stir some sort of attention, but remember what sort of place this is. Some people don't take too lightly about gossips. It's fine when they gossip, but it's not fine when other people gossip. Of course they'll feel cheesed off, you took the limelight away from them. Just keep the news to yourself. Tell it to people who're not in any way related to your organisation, that's ok. But don't leak it out to people you're working with, bad idea. You never know when a spy is lurking around. Someone is always waiting in the dark, lurking around the corners, just waiting... waiting for someone to take the wrong step. And move in for the kill. Keep whatever it is to yourself. Let the attention seekers spread the word. Sooner or later, everyone will have a piece of the news.

Hush Hush...

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Tsk Tsk... What Is The World Coming To...?
It's sad, isn't it? Another senseless murder... all for a few ringgit and a handphone. 2 innocent lives robbed away from the face of this earth. Robbers, snatch thieves, rapists, all these scumbags are getting more daring by the day. They're not afraid of getting caught and hitting the gallows at all. They do not care about the lives they hurt. They do not care about society. They're not humans, they're scumbags that are not worth giving a second chance., and definitely not worth the lives they were given. Why do they do such stuff? Why do they go about robbing, hurting, killing other human beings? Are they poor? Are they in need for money, so they rob and sometimes kill? Are they doing this out of pure lust? Do they get pleasure from hurting another human being? Are they insane? What is wrong with them? Why are there so many of them? Have they no compassion?

The government should seriously look into this issue of innocent murders, rapes, robberies and such. Heavier, stiffer penalties perhaps? Whatever it is, it's no longer safe anywhere you go. Keep an eye out everytime you go out somewhere. Always be wary of your surroundings and of any suspicious looking characters lurking around/within the vicinity. It's a big bad world we live in. God bless.

I hope all the bad people drop dead.

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Segregation Intended
What is this we read in the newspapers about only "certain" people can watch a "certain" religious movie? The government has finally approved the screening of "The Passion of Christ" in selected cinemas... but this news comes with some "terms & conditions". Not like that's gonna make the movie goers going gaa-gaa, considering most of us would've either caught the movie either in VCD or DVD form :P *pppffffttt*

Apparently, only Christians are allowed to watch the movie. Muslims are strictly prohibited (it figures). So my question is... are the cinemas going to scan every movie goer? How are they gonna tell between a Christian & non-Christian? A movie goer walks into a cinema. He/she walks into the hall... the usher stops him/her... "Excuse me. Only Christians allowed. Can you show me some ID?" Is this what going to the movies is gonna be like in the distant future? Ok, maybe for this movie. But it is quite a stupid idea to screen each and every movie goer. I can understand the sensitivity involved here, but our government is really taking things too radically. To the extent of screening movie goers, what a laugh. We'll be the butt of the joke for the whole world. Mel Gibson is laughing is rich ass off at us.

Go ahead and continue screening the movie. I'm catching it on DVD instead :P *blek*

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The Return of The Hamu

"Who dares disturb my slumber???"


"WTF! Nobody escapes from me!!!!"


"Die you piece of metal scrap! DIE!!!"


"Let this be a lesson to all!!! *hissssss*"


*photos taken from http://www1.s-cat.ne.jp/jim-ham/

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Chinese Illiterate Speaking Here
It was a challenge for me to find some of F.I.R's songs online. F.I.R is the latest band from Taiwan, consisting of a girl and 2 guys. The girl's name is Faye, while the guys are Real (huh?) &... errr... dunno what the other guy's name is :P LOL But I guess their names make up the intials for the band. And since they sing mandarin songs, and I can't read chinese (let alone speak the language, damn shy man), it was quite tough (for me at least) to find some of their hit tunes (or any other chinese tunes for that matter) online.

Yesterday evening, while waiting for my bf to come pick me up from work, I thought I'll just try to find some of F.I.R's songs, so I googled and found many links. But unfortuntely, everything was in chinese. Yikes! All I could read was the name F.I.R :P Ok, so I attempted to just click on which ever link to try my luck. I know the word "download" in chinese is "xia-sumthing", and since I can only read the word "xia", good enough lar! So I scouted for the word "xia" to see if I can at least download some mp3s. I tried several links, but none of them were working / can't conenct to the server. Never mind, I'll look elsewhere. Until I found one chinese site that listed down the top 40 chinese hits of the week (I think), and some of F.I.R's songs were in the list and available for download. Woohoo!

As I was download the available songs, I noticed that the songs were listed by numbers: 04, 06, 08, 05. Since I use Download Accelerator for a speedier download (use Streamyx to the max mar), I can track back the URL for each download. The URL was identical, except for the numbers at the back. So common sense tells me that I can just change the numbers to download the rest of F.I.R's album, right? And since their album has 13 songs, I will have exactly the entire album. Ahhh~~~ Well, I finally got the entire album :P Took me about an hour just to find the proper links... and another hour or so to dowload them. Excuse me lar, me no read chinese mar.

Oh, a friend of mine sent me something cute. Click here to view it :) Very cute Flash animation.

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Astro Talent Quest Sucks!
This year's Astro Talent Quest is total bullshit. How on earth did the judges pick that guy as the champion??? It's totally bullshit! He shouldn't even be in the top 3. It's very obvious this year the girls are way better than the guys. And when they selected the top 3, I was greatly diappointed when they chose that fat ass as one of the finalist. Hello! He can't sing! His rendition of Wang Lee Hom's "Ni Bu Zhai" was horrible. He was trying too hard to sound like Wang Lee Hom, with all the American accent and stuff. bear in mind Wang Lee Hom is an American-born-chinese (ABC), hence when he sings, he has this slight american accent when he sings/talks. This fat ass was trying to imitate Wang Lee Hom's style. Puhleeeezzzzeeeee.... drop it.

And you could see a few times he was almost out of breathe trying to hit the high notes. On the "talent" part, his English pop song ala "toilet-inspired" tune was nothing great. In fact, I could barely make out a single word of what he was trying to sing. And when it came to the final part, the group FIR from Taiwan was the guest artiste, rite? Once again, the fat ass was almost out of breathe trying to hit the high notes. It's was sooooo obvious the 2 ladies had much better vocal control (not to mention power!) than the guy... Yet the guy was crowned as champion!!! How can?!? How is that possible?!? Are you guys deaf?!? He doesn't even deserve to be in the top 3. I was rooting for the other girl, petite lady with vocals that can throw you back. Both the girls deserved the top spots, not the guy.

I don't know how the judges pick the champion, but it's obvious their selection this year was a total joke. Maybe they felt they had to choose a guy over a gal, I don't know. Bias on gender selection? The past few winners have been guys. Isn't it time we had a girl?

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Skippy Calls
Remember Skippy, my kangaroo jumping ex-colleague? I shiver when I recall his skipping actics *shudders* Anyway, another ex-colleague, S and I are in the midst of planning a small makan-makan session, and we've actually sent out invitations via email & SMS to our ex-colleagues from Phileo Damansara. We initially planned the dinner for early July, but due to poor response (and apparently the weekend we picked was a good day for wedding dinners, and many of our ex-colleagues couldn't make it cos they had dinners to attend), we rescheduled the makan-makan session to a later date.

But anyway, while S and I were coordinating the dinner for the intial planned date of early July, S received an unexpected call. You see, S and I meet up for a game of squash every week. S would pick me up from work and we'll head to my place for our weekly squash game. That fateful day, S was driving and her mobile rang. She has one of those Nokia models which you can speak through the speaker, like a speaker phone. So I held the phone for S while she answered. The entire conversation was in Cantonese, but I'll translate it to English for easy reading.

S: "Hello?"
Skippy: "Hello? Do you remember me?"
S: "Who's this?"
Skippy: "Cannot remember me ahhhh? It's Skippy ahhh"

S and I were stunned for a moment. I covered my mouth with my hand and was controlling my laughter so hard. I didn't want Skippy to know I was with S. S was just as shocked as I was, for we both disliked Skippy quite a bit. Beh tahan him. S was in fact suprised how Skippy got her number in the 1st place. Turns out he got S's number from another ex-colleague. Skippy was asking why we chose that particular date for a gathering cos he won't be around. After 3 years, his voice and attitude remains the same, manja-manja type *eeewwww* 26 years of age and still acting cute. "As if we care whether he come or not!" S exclaimed after the call ended. I was just laughing in the car, and S smacks my thigh "You ah! Keep so quiet! So scared ah?" I replied "Not scared, but I dowan him to know I'm with you. Otherwise he sure kacau me!" I teased S again "You see har? Now he got your number. Sure he'll call you and kacau you! Maybe like last time, he called me in the middle of night crying his sorry ass!" S frozed for a while, and said "Oh no! Shit!!! Don't call me! Go die lah!" And we both laughed out heads off.

What a joke. And we've set a new date for the dinner. Hope to see most of you guys there.

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Attempted Assasination?
A Skudai state assemblyman had a near brush with death today when a lone gunman pointed a gun at his chest. There was a scuffle and the assemblyman wrestled with the gunman, while

"TRYING TO PULL HIS OWN GUN FROM HIS POCKET."

Now... what is a state assemblyman doing carrying a gun all over the place?

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TGIF again!
Oh boy, it's Friday again. Woohoo! So glad the weekend is near (despite the fact I still have to report to work on Saturdays, but half day ok, oklar, I tahan). This morning the office was a racket. Damn noisy, felt like I was in a bird cage with multiple parakeets. Bllleeeehhhhh...

Oh, I helped a fellow blogger, Orange, design a simple benner for his new blog layout. In fact, I had actually offered to design his top banner yesterday evening, cos I was so sick of the job I was handling, I just dumped the job aside and offered to do the banner :P So this morning, after I completed my so-called job, I proceeded to do the banner, and came up with 4 designs. Orange has already incorporated one of the banner designs, the rest will be up real soon once he gets the randomize engine done. The banner will randomly change each time the page reloads. Pretty cool, huh? Credits go to me... me.... me... ME!!! Muahahahahaha!!!! *Yes I'm mad. It's Friday ok* "No, Orange, I will not tattoo an orange on my butt! Pain ok?"

Am listening to come really nice chinese songs now, from the CD I just... emmm... ok, we skip this part, not important :P It has some of the latest chinese release, some of which I've been trying to find. I enjoy listening to chinese songs, especially mandarin numbers. This is coming from someone that can't speak nor read let alone write mandarin even if her life depended on it. yes, I'm part *banana, but I can speak cantonese ok. It's quite hard for me to find chinese songs cos:

1) I can't read chinese
2) Half the time I don't know the song title and singers :P

Yesssss!!!! It's Friday!!!!!! Woohoo!!!!

*banana - Normally refers to people that are chinese who can't speak their mother tougue, but instead speaks a foreign language. Hence "yellow on the outside, white on the inside". Something like that lar.

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Conversation
via ICQ

oli: hi uncle desmo
desmo: uncle desmo now..I've been promoted
desmo: hello hamu darling
oli: lol
oli: kidding. i'm sleepy, my mind can't think
desmo: coffee?
oli: no coffee now. or else tonite cannot zzzz
desmo: go for a walk outside and get some air
D: tonight have an orgasm...sure to sleep after that
oli: ok. i go tell my bf gimme one
oli: i call him now... *beep beep beep*
oli: *ring ring ring*
"hello?"
"hello? dear ar? can gimme orgasm tonite?"
"why"
"so dat i can sleep better tonite lor"
"so sudden wan?"
"idea from forum fren desmo aka humsup teddy bear mar"
desmo: ROFLMAO
oli: "who's this desmo fella ah? very humsup wan ah?"
"ya dat's y i call him humsup teddy bear"
"and how come he suggest orgasm?"
"cos i said i sleepy, he suggest coffee, but i dun take coffee cos at nite cannot sleep mar"
"oh... icic... good idea oso. we can hv some fun"
"yalor... so ok ah? come home earlier today"
"ok. talk to u later lar. lemme finish my work"
oli: *click*
desmo: hehehehe
desmo: that didn't actually happen did it?....nah, think not
oli: errrr..... :-P

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The Cost Of Looking Good
It's tough being a girl sometimes. Don't get me wrong, it's great being a female. We have a wide variety of clothes, shoes etc to choose from. We can wear both pants & skirts alike. We have a wide range of makeup, skincare products & accessories to cater to our every whim. It's the cost of keeping one's self looking good and great that burns a hole in our pockets sometimes.

I was chatting with a friend earlier this morning and was asking her about some skin care products. I've been thinking of buying a new mask to try, which is said to really help skin conditions like mine. This morning when I was looking at the mirror, I could see some blemishes on my cheeks :( Blemishes have always been a problem for me, and since I have combination skin (oily on the t-zone), I cannot use products that are too harsh. So my friend suggested that I try the brand, Aesop. She told me to try Aesop's Tea Tree Mask, which apparently works very well for people with combination skin + blemishes like mine. She herself uses Aesop facial cleanser which, according to her, is doing quite a good job for her skin. But she did warn me to be prepared, for the mask she mentioned would cost roughly about RM150. Yikes!

What about clothes & shoes? Well, I've been thinking of revamping my image a bit. So this means I will need to hunt for some new sets of clothes & shoes, right? I can hear the guys out there all going unanimously "Women!!!" Akakakakaka :P I'm a pretty casual dresser, decent top, jeans, sandals and I'm off, whether to work or otherwise. But lately I've been thinking maybe I should try to "dress up" a little bit more... you know, a bit smarter to work and all that. I work in a ad agency, we have no proper dresscode, hence we're very casual in our attire. Except for the AEs, they're dressed up, complete with makeup and all the moolahs. As for makeup... errr, sad to say I don't put makeup on when I go to work. Sometimes I find it such a hassle, all the steps involved. Foundation, eye shadow, mascara, lipstick. Heck, normally I just wash my face, tone, moisturise & apply sunblock and I'm off. Ok, so maybe I'm lazy :P Yes, I'm a simple looking girl, nothing fancy. I normally apply makeup if I'm attending some dinner functions, that's all. Come to think of it, my makeup pallete (a gift from my sister 2 years ago!) still has plenty of colours! LOL

My friend did make a good point. Girls just have to look good. Makeup is not a necessity, but we can always just apply a little bit before going out, a bit of powder and lipstick, keep it looking natural. Don't powder your face like some colourful bird, that'll only make you look freaky. And in order to look good, you gotta invest your money in some good and worthwhile products. That is the price women have to pay to keep themselves looking good. After all, first impressions do count. Who doesn't wanna look good, right? Is it any wonder why some girls are always broke? We wanna look good not just for ourselves, but for the men as well. I estimate I'll probably end up spending a few hundred bucks this coming sale... clothes, shoes, skin care products, some makeup... *sigh* "You see how much I spent just to look good for you? You better sayang me and me alone!"

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A Dream Holiday
I recently received some photos of a resort supposedly taken in Maldives. Maldives is made up of several lovely islands, each island has only one resort on it. Very beautiful place, pure heaven on earth. In fact, I've received those photos before (quite long ago actually), makes you drool. Now that's what you called a "Dream Holiday". Pure white sands on your feet, the waves crashing onto the shores, serenity and tranquility amidst the island, no smog, no dust, no carbon monoxide.

Just imagine... you're walking on the beach, holding hands with your loved one, taking a leisurely stroll, watching the sun set, you couldn't care less about what's happening else where in the world. You take a deep breathe.... ahh~~~ fresh air. You look at your loved one and gives him a smile, a smile free of worries and stress. A genuine smile. And he smiles back to you. You continue walking, listening to the waves crashing and you caught sight of an exotic bird soaring in the sky. Wow...

As you're walking, you caught sight of a nicely decorated table on the beach. To your suprise, your mate has arranged for dinner by the beach. A chef is busy preparing a dish comprising of fresh seafood and colourful sauces. Lobsters, clams, mussels, prawns, crabs, fish, you name it. Your personal waiter pulls up a chair and gestures you to sit. You take a seat and your mate hands you a lovely bouquet of flowers and gives you a peck on the cheek. "Because you deserve it" he says. As your dinner is being served, a violinist appears out of nowhere and serenades you with some soothing tunes. Your heart jumps an extra beat and just wish that this moment will never end...

Now that the story has ended, GET BACK TO WORK!

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Kanna Curry House
*sniff* I smell like Kanna ayam goreng now. In case you don't know what a Kanna ayam goreng is... Kanna is actually the name of an indian curry house - Kanna Curry House. They serve banana leaf during lunch hours, very tasty. Not to mention expensive too... but sometime we don't have much choice, especially when it rains and the only option for food is... Kanna Curry House, which is down the block.

Today, I had my lunch there. My colleague and I were contemplating whether to take a risk and walk uphill for some tasty chicken rice, since the sky was rather gloomy and sending us a message which goes something like "I am going to pour very soon". So we decided to have banana leaf lah, don't challenge mother nature. So off we went for some tasty & expensive banana leaf. You know how ther service can be... The moment you sit down, the waiters are swooning over you. The leaf comes, rice, vegetables, bla bla bla. Before you even have a moment to think what to order, everything is brought to you. "Sayur mau?", "Ayam goreng, ayam goreng", "Ikan ikan", "Chicken curry, mutton curry, fish curry", "Lassi lassi". How mind boggling. So you ask for some rice, while the waiters are taking turns bringing trays of food for your selection.

Today's lunch was quite different from the other times we had lunch there. Today, the waiters were actually friendly! *shock expression* Normally these guys don't talk to you, except when they take your order. But today, these guys were joking with us. They were asking whether we would like to try some indian mangoes, very expensive mangoes too. Then they were cracking jokes, saying once we tasted their mangoes, we wouldn't want anything else. And while paying, the cashier caught sight of a photograph in my purse (a photo of my bf & I), and was very *keypoh over it. Haha :D Why are they so jovial today, we wondered.

Now, I smell like Kanna ayam goreng...

*keypoh - nosy

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Some Problems Viewing My Blog


Most of you should be able to see my blog properly (as shown in Pic 01). But I was informed that instead of seeing Pic 01, she saw my blog design as shown in Pic 02 (she's using IE 5). I'm not very sure why, but I suspect it could be the browser playing tricks here. The new layout uses a lot of CSS codes and it could be older browsers might not be able to support the codes *shrugs*. I have no idea why actually. Anyway, I'm currently using Mozilla 1.7 & IE 6 so my designs are made compatible for these 2 browsers most of the time. I hope my readers all have no problems viewing my blog.

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New Layout
I like the new layout. I like the black & white photo on the top. I like the butt. I like the little glistering stickers that are stuck on the butt. Maybe I should go hunt for the stickers and stick them on my butt :P Hehe...

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Women & Their Hygiene
First, I blogged about men and their splattering habits (not all men lar, some men). Now, I'm gonna talk about women and some of their bad habits. As we all know, some gals can be notoriously dirty and couldn't care less about practising proper hygiene. Hello, there are other people living on this planet ok. Ok, let us look at the disposing of sanitary pads. A fellow blogger, Orange, blogged about discovering a "floating substance with wings" inside some toilet bowls and believe me, he ain't the first person to encounter such gruesome discovery. I too, have had such encounters. Just makes you squirm and say "Eeeewwww!" and other profanities like "WTF!" and curse the person that was previously using the toilet as a dumpster. "KNNCCB! I hope your c*** gets infested with maggots!" *ahem* Excuse me...

First and foremost, you DO NOT throw your sanitary towels into the toilet! It's morally WRONG! Not only is it dirty, such an act will also cause the toilet to be clogged. Then the plumber will have to come and fish your pad out of the pipes and it's not a pretty sight ok. The plumber will probably curse the girl that dump her dirty pad with such profanities I don't even want to hear. Like hello! We're in a civilised society! Get your act together! There's a proper sanitary bin for you to dispose off your used pads, so use it. And you're supposed to roll your used pads up, lift the lid of the sanitary tray, place the used pad there and put the lid down. Not put the used pads on top of the bin. Use your brains lah! And you certainly don't leave your pads all over the floor as well. You were taught in school how to dispose of your pads properly. Please drill it in your pathetic minds that as a human, you're supposed to practise good hygiene. That's why you piss in the toilet and not in the bushes.

Practising good hygiene is part and parcel of healthy living, be it for men or women. As a woman, have some respect for yourself and of others. Keep yourself clean & tidy. Dispose your used pads properly next time, you certainly don't want the maggots curse to come true, do you?

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Men & Their Pee
Why is it that some men can't aim properly? Why is that when they take a leak, their pee will splatter all over the toilet bowl? Can't you guys aim properly? The toilet bowl is so big, yet you can't position yourself to aim right and avoid making stains all over the place. And some don't even lift the lid up before they pee! Hello! *smacks forehead*

My current company's washroom is unisex, anybody can just go in and out. Yar, I know... quite inconvenient but this is expected from a chaotic company like this one. But life in here has been like this since they first started the company. Anyway, back to the story of men taking a piss. Some of the males here really need a lesson in how to piss. Yup, you guys need to attend a class that'll TEACH YOU HOW TO PEE PROPERLY. The class will go something like this:

First, there'll be an instructor in the room. There'll also be a diagram of a toilet bowl on the wall. The instructor will then proceed with the class, starting with the rules of peeing properly, how to aim, how to stand right and how far to spread yr legs... Oh wait, that's for the female counterpart. Ok, skip the spread legs part :P Then, the instructor will explain that piss is to aimed into the toilet bowl, not outside, not on the floor, not on the walls. Pee is not meant to be graffitti. "And for godsake, lift the lid before you piss!" the instructor would yell. The culprits will attempt to squirm upon hearing the instructor yell. Next, the instructor will ask every male present in the room to proceed to the washroom for a proper demonstration on how to piss properly. The instructor will first take a piss, demonstrating how to hold on to your willy and piss into the bowl with a precise aim. After the live demo, each male will then have to take a leak for the instructor to make sure you guys understood what he has taught. "Oi! Don't swing your dick like that when you piss!", "Hold it steady... that's right that's right...", "Eh, stand closer to the toilet bowl lah! It's not gonna eat your dick!". Oh, if there's a water pipe available, USE it to wash the rim of the toilet bowl!

After that, probably have a few more classes, and the instructor will evaluate and possibly grade the men. For those who pass, congratulations. You are now fully capable of pissing without making a mess and may proceed to the next stage of learning how to piss in the dark. For those who failed, it's back to square one until you get it right! After all that, a lesson in scrubbing toilets!

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You Call Yourself An Account Exec!
The problem we face with your AEs here is that most of them don't know how to use the computer properly. And the worst part is... they don't want to learn. Which is terrible considering the world is moving along the technology line. Computer knowledge is an essential part of the working society, right? At least you should know the basic functions, no one expects you to know everything. And as marketing people, you should know softwares like Microsoft Office, Words, Excel, Powerpoint - basic programmes to assist you in coming up with proposals and stuff. Even if you're not sure as to how to use such programmes, ask someone to teach you about it. Or play around with it, learn it hands on. That's the problem our AEs here face.

This morning, one AE came up and was rushing one of the designers here to finish her presentation slides. Obnoxious character, loud, rude and plain bitchy. The designer got fedup and just asked the AE to take the file from the main server and do whatever changes she wants on her PC downstairs. Since it's in Powerpoint, it's relatively simple. The files are all in the server, just grab in and drag it into the Powerpoint slides. "But how do I do that?" the AE whines. "You've never used Powerpoint before meh?" *pouting face* "No, never. I dunno how to use" The AE's expression immediately changes, her face looks pissed cos she can't get the job done. Then she goes on to complain to the department manager that his people aren't doing her job.

I was at my cubicle listening to the AE whine & whine, amd I was smiling :) I wanted to laugh out at the AE and just call her a doink. It's not the AE's 1st day on the job, the AE's been here quite long already. Yet the fella has failed miserably at communicating with many of us, let alone work the computer. In fact, most of the AEs here are doinks. You can give them a fixed template to work on and I guarantee you, they will screw the whole file up. And they'll have the guts to tell you the file has a virus. "I can't open the file, virus lah". "I can't see the file on my computer, virus lah". Bet the only thing they know is Power On/Off.

But it doesn't matter. Cos in 2 months or less, I'll be out of here.

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Please Please... Gimme Chance...!
I caught the Malaysian Idol yesterday, by accident actually. Once again I didn't know the programme was on, and my dad was just flipping the channels :P Oh, cool! Something for me to laugh at (now everyone's a critic ya :P).

There were some good ones, some bad ones, some extremely bad ones as well. I believe there were some that did have some talent, but most of them... well... so-so. Maybe they were nervous, stage fright, I don't know. But many had jitters and made several mistakes. Take the scene where the guys were made to form groups of 3. Boy, they sucked. No coordination at all. Many (if not most) forgot their lyrics or sang totally out of key. I remember the Penang chap with the shakey voice. He totally freaked out. Anyway I didn't think of him as much of a singer, I think he's trying to hard, especially the "shakey voice" effect. And another malay chap kena bambu nicely from the judge. "What's wrong with you! Get out!" Ooooohhh... ouch! At least the girls did a much better job as groups of 3.

Then came the elimination round. Penang guy says bye bye with one soppy goodbye song complete with the shakey voice effect (eewww, please stop it). Some were happy (esthetic!) to be able to make it to the next round, some were extremely sad over the elimination. But it doesn't stop there cos the very next morning, there would be another elimination round (gasp!). Many were having sore throats due to all the singing (poor things). They also didn't have enough sleep, baggy panda eyes all coming out on their pretty faces. Out of 50 hopefuls, only 30 will be selected. Young malay chap did a bad job in rendering the song he selected. He totally went off-key, wasn't singing to the music, was singing in a flat tone despite given the chance to sing again. Young chinese gal also flunked it, she forgot the lyrics, was given a 2nd chance but blew it as well. She pleaded for another chance, but was politely told to leave.

So now we're down to 30... 33 actually, cos the judges decided to call 3 more hopeful who were previously eliminated to come back and join the top 30, hence making it 33. Reason being the judges felt the 3 deserved another chance cos they (the judges) say something in them. I also remember seeing this particular malay chap with the goatie, he's pretty good. There was also this ah-beng character, with blonde hair, cool shades, really lanky character. Hehe... so ah-beng :P I think he was also trying too hard at times.

To all those who didn't make it into the next rounds, don't cry. There's more to Malaysian idol you know. Maybe your talent lies elsewhere. Life doesn't stop at Malaysian idol alone. Ask yourself if you're prepared for all that, and the unexpected. Being a superstar ain't all that fun either. It's lotsa hard work, commitment, sacrifices, possibly scandals as well. One day you could be a superstar. The next day you could be just a has-been. That is the life of an Idol.

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Conversation
Via Yahoo
ds: i just got a phone call, and the caller asked to speak to LALA

ds: hahhahaa

Me: LOL

Me: u shld answer, no LALA here. got BALITONG

Me: *ROTFLMAO* - yahoo emoticon

ds: hahahha....

ds: yea hor

Me: wait wait! i blog about this!!!

*LALA & BALITONG - a kind of shellfish

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Being Chinese
I'm a chinese, and I'm proud to be a Chinese. Now don't get me wrong here, I'm also very much Malaysian. I speak with all the usual "lah", "ya mer", "dunno lar" terms all the time. I eat at makan stalls, restaurants, mingle with the multi-racial crowds. Being in a potpourri of multi-racial, multi-faceted country, it's really cool to get to know other races' cultures and stuff. And for them to get to know my mine (chinese cultures). Also, the chinese has a long history to begin with. And this morning I was reading The Star Online and this article caught sight of my attention (made me laugh too). The writer was talking about Chinese etiquettes, taboos and such. Very interesting indeed.

The seemingly inoffensive act of slicing a pear - Lotsa people slice their fruits to bite sizes these days. I do to, easier on the mouth, no need to open so big mar *hehe*. But to some people, the act of slicing pears could represent "to divide" or "separation". Fern (to divide or separat)e Li (pear or to leave).

Low Jhap - In cantonese, it means to pour gravy over your rice. Very common act, we all do that, don't we? Order chicken rice with extra gravy. But did you know it could also carry a different meaning? Low (to mix or be involved) Jhap (gravy or bankcruptcy). Bet you didn't know that huh? I didn't know that too :P (call myself a chinese) So the next time you decide to "low jhap", be sure your host isn't some superstitious fanatic. Just kidding.

Clocks as presents - This is a major NO-NO. Never ever EVER give a clock as a gift to any chinese family. We'll hate you for that. Haha, just kidding. But seriously, don't give clocks as gifts. It's not a good omen. In cantonese, it means "soong joong". Alternatively it means "seeing a dying man off on his last journey". HOI! Choi Choi Choi!!! (chinese all around the world saying "CHOI")

There are several more examples, but I'll let you read it here instead. When I was a kid staying with my grandparents, as kids we were instilled taboos & customs too. For example: Never open an umbrella inside the house. Always open the umbrella OUTSIDE the house. Reason being umbrellas are seen as a "passage", a means of travel form for "spirits". When eating out of a bowl, never stick your chopsticks into the bowl, bad bad. And when holding chopsticks, never point! I notice that some people... when they're holding chopsticks, their index finger tends to stick out, pointing at the person sitting opposite. Don't use your chopsticks to point around also, it's very rude. People will frown at you.

Yea, the chinese are a superstitious lot. That's what makes us special :) *makes note to buy car number plate 2828 next time* Hehe :P

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Freaking Jobs + People
The AEs here are about to become roadkill really soon. The way they handle their time management, my gawd! Everything is last minute, and they expect the job done with a click of the mouse. Eh, fuckers, use your brains ok. You can't even decide what you want to put in the demo, and you expect we do the job for you on schedule. WTF! And you want EVERYTHING inside it. Hello, it's only a demo... D-E-M-O. Faham apa tu demo tak? And worse, you forgot the login & password to access the mock account... Bagus Bagus... and you expect us to get our job done without any materials.

I got fedup with them yesterday. I modified the screenshots from what I managed to capture yesterday. It had all my information instead, so I had to manually copy, paste, modify everything to create a mock account. "How ah... the client gave me this ID & password, but cannot go in.." Well screw the client lar! if I keep on waiting for YOU to do the job, dinosaurs will roam our lands again. I took matters into my own hands and redirected the job. I used my own screenshots (modified ones), and created a mock account to be used in the demo. "Oh, you managed to login ah?" No, I had to MODIFY cos your information was useless. In fcat, you had No information at all. So I decided which screenshots to use, and the AE got pissed cos she wanted EVERY SCREENSHOT to be in the demo. Eh, bugger... today is already Friday. You fucking promised the client Monday afternoon. Where got time to do everything? Plus we're only doing a sample. So a quick flow can lah. She wanted everything inside, every single screenshot I got. I said NO... because some shots are redundant and it makes no sense to put every single shot in the demo cos we'll be putting speech bubbles to explain. She got pissed and toss the papers on the table and walked off. Fine, we'll do it MY WAY. *pppffffftttttt*

Man, I'm looking forward to leave this shit hole...

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Siennnnnnn...
You read it right the 1st time... I'm freaking bored here. Not that I don't have work, but work sucks. F***ing client wants a demo done, but hell, I can't even logon to their site to get screenshots of the pages. No materials were given. And you want a demo done. Niameh!!! And you call your system reliable. Reliable my freaking ass. Can't imagine when you officially launch the system, just to see a message each time your customers login: "The Page Cannot be Found". HAH!!!

On another note, the forum stalkers had a great meet, so I was told. Too bad I couldn't join them, would've been a blast to see who's who. And hugs & kisses flying around... Come to think of it, maybe it was a good thing I missed it. Mana tau, suddenly kena peck on the cheek by a humsup teddy bear! LOL. Just kidding, Desmo :P Oh yes, the sight of a HAWT gal should put everything into persepctive nicely. Hehe... Thanks for putting up the pictures, y'll. Gracias.

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Stalkers Gathering
Something to look out for. A gathering at MidValley, consisting of Dr.Liew stalkers! Muahahahahahaha!!! Too bad I can't make it due to a meeting which I have later today, god knows what time its gonna end. But never the less, pictures will be available for those of us who can't make it today. What's so hip about this gathering, you ask...

1) Hanyi & Desmo hugging each other (classic!)

2) Desmo knees Hanyi in the groin AFTER the hug (another classic!)

3) YP (rocking monkey) bopping her head up & down. Monkey brain anyone?

4) A VIRGIN wolf will also be there (woohoo!)

5) A humsup teddy bear and his mean truck (reserve for the VIRGIN wolf)

6) Several other stalkers as well.

Have fun you guys. And be good yar. Hehe...

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Droopy Sleepy Eyes
It never fails to happen. The moment you finish your lunch, walk back to the office, climb the flights of stairs, walk past a corridor and a couple of doors into a brightly litted room painted in bright orange and towards your department coloured in cream (aside from a few dirt marks here and there) with 2nd hand furnitures, the air-con at 17 degrees celcius making its usual "I'm gonna break down soon" rattling, and sink into the chair that has been responsible for your on-and-off backaches (ouch). On your 4 X 3 ft table sits the 3rd most powerful PC in the entire company (1st being your manager, 2nd being the Creative Director) that was brought in for you to use at the end of 2001, almost 3 months after you actually joined the company. You sink into your chair with a heavy thud, prop your pillow to support your back, stretch your legs and arms, take a deep breath, and breathe...

You glance at the clock on your PC... about 20 minutes until 2pm. Hmm, I've still got some time to kill. Maybe a power nap, you thought. But then, it's hard to sleep in this place. Too much interference, too much commotion. Not to mention when 2/3 people decide to turn up their speakers all at the same time. Or the phones may be buzzing away asking for people, knowing all too well everyone's gone for lunch. What idiots, you say to yourself. So you kick your heels and check out some sites for the day; online games, forums, blogs, e-mails etc.

As the minutes pass, you start to yawn, tears swelling in both your eyes. Man it's tough to stay awake, you say to yourself. Your colleagues are slowly streaming in through the wooden door, all going back to their respective cubicles and slamming their keyboards or mouse away. Yet another burnout, you suspect. Some have newspapers in their hands, some are idling away, chit-chatting with each other. As for yourself, your yawns are getting more frequent. Each yawn's intervals are getting closer each time. You start to ask yourself how are you going to last until 5/6pm. Tough... You mumble under your breathe something only you can understand. Ahh~~~ Another Monday...

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Online Customer Support
I am currently doing some research for my manager about some payment gateway and I googled for some Malaysian companies which does offer such services. There were some results and I proceeded to do some reading about it. One of the company has this online inquiry option, whereby you can chat with an online customer support and ask question relating to the products the companies carries (no, it's not another place for you to chit-chat or buaya :P). So I compiled a list of questions to ask and clicked on the "Live Chat" button and waited for some response. It took a while before a Customer Support staff actually responded (after several "Our operators are busy. Please try again later" messages).

Customer Support: Hi, my name is A. How can I help you today?

Me: Morning. I was looking at your site and wanted to ask about your (product).

A: Ok.

Me: What are the fees like? How about the security level?

A: Fees are RM XXX, one-time payment.

Me: How about the security level? Are you affiliated with Verisign?

*At this moment there was a long silence... She didn't reply anything. At first I thought maybe my network connection went kaput again, but I suspected that she couldn't answer my queries and was ignoring me! LOL I closed the chat window and restarted the session again. After several busy modes, I got through...

Customer Support: Hi, my name is A. How can I help you today? *A? Same girl!*

Me: I previously asked you about (product)

*TTTEEEEEKKKK* *Your session has expired either due to no response from the Customer Support or poor connection*

I couldn't believe it! The Customer Support actually disconnected me! HAH! I found it so funny I actually laughed in front of my computer screen! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Man... If you can't answer my question, at least direct me to someone who CAN. First you ignore me, then you disconnect me off totally! Good grief! Makes me wonder what sort of Customer Support staff that company hired to man the helplines. Tsk Tsk *geleng kepala* They probably hired some bimbos who're too busy putting makeup on their faces, and they actually no nuts about their company products :P All I have to say if Malaysian companies have such poor customer support, don't complain if you can't hold on to customers. Your incompetant front-line staffs are a real turn-off.

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Practical Driving Lessons
My youngest sister is currently undergoing her practical driving lessons (minimum 16 hours). So happens her driving instructor was the same old guy that thought me years ago, and he still remembers me :P Small world eh? I didn't know he was my sister's instructor until one fine day, my sister was ranting about how difficult driving was. "It's so tough you know! So many things to look at! How to coordinate lar?" My family had a good laugh while listening to her rant endlessly. "This is so much tougher than my wushu lessons!" she said. And I casually asked her who her instructor was, and she proceeded to tell me his name. Strange, I thought... My previous instructor was also by that name. Pure coincidence, never mind. That I asked where her 1st lesson was and what did the guy thought her. That's weird... I went to the exact spot during my 1st lesson too! I then questioned my sister further..."After this, you will be driving to Bangi, right?" "Yalah, how did you know?" she replied. Bingo! Its the same guy. My sister later confirmed that the instructor did mention to her that he once taught a girl also living in the same area, and by the same surname! That's me lah, I exclaimed. LOL

Which reminded me of my driving lessons. Boy, I think I was a bundle of wreck. I think I drove the instructor up the wall :P No, not the instructor that's teaching my sister now. I had another instructor before him, but my license got penalised and I had to retake the exam again (I'm not telling why so zip it!). I had to drive this old Datsun, but during the exam I had to switch to an Iswara! The 2nd time was way easier, Kancils all the way. Damn car is so light, I'm afraid to go any faster than 60kph! ROTFLMAO Can't imagine those Kancils zipping in and out of highways at 1++kph.... Good grief!!! Put a pair of wings and that damn kecil molek car can just take off! Not that I hate Kancils, but some of the drivers behind it should really understand that such a small milo-tin-can car is not built for speed! Heck, you should know that most Malaysian made cars are not equipped with proper safety features. And here you are flying at 150kph, in a car so damn light, like Wong Fei Hung's Flying Stance. Let's not forget those with modified exhaust, when they zoom past you "VVVRRRROOOOMMMMM", macam gaya sangat. Eh, itu Kancil ok, bukan Ferrari. No matter how you goddamn modify that stupid tin can, it's still a KANCIL. So please, have some brains before you do any modifications to make your Kancil resemble a foreign sports car. Putting the BMW logo in the front bonnet does not change a thing. Nor does a larger exhaust or huge spoilers and sport rims. Kancil tetap Kancil. End of discussion.

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