Thursday, September 24, 2009

The Devastator
If you're familiar with Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, then you'll recognise 'The Devastator'. It's a fucking big-ass mother-of-all-contraption that sucks. It will inhale and suck everything in its path. (cuts to sound effects: HHHHHOOOOORRRRRRR)

Photo from here.

Lately, some friends of mine and I have been referring to someone as 'The Devastator'. This person doesn't suck sand though, sand is not that tasty. 'The Devastator' is actually a codename for this person. 'The Devastator' that we are acquainted to, eats like there's no tomorrow.

'The Devastator' enjoys food a lot and is not shy to hide it from everyone. 'The Devastator' enjoys food so much, even your food is not spared. You know how vultures will roam around, just waiting for the right time to zoom and in and grab a bite? Well, 'The Devastator' goes right in, there is no waiting time.

Because food is of such importance to 'The Devastator', table manners has little or no place. In 'The Devastator' world, one should not waste time with little things like etiquette. It's every Devastator for themselves. Survival of the fittest (or fastest).

Traits of 'The Devastator' are:
- Their attention diverts the moment the word "food" is mentioned.
- They will take the food off your plate without asking.
- They assume you don't want to eat that box of cookies when you don't open it.
- They come back to get more cookies, on the pretext that their "children" loves them.
- They can take your food, but you can't take theirs.
- They will put their hands into that plate of fries before it reaches the table.
- They will ta-pau (take-away) leftovers from hotel buffets.
- They will ask their guests to bring alcohol to a baby party, on the pretext to "help clear your stock".
- They will ask you to buy food items back for them, should they find out you've gone on some vacation to some place.
- They will gladly polish off the leftovers on your plate.
- They will clamour for that last piece of chicken, while having one piece on their plate and holding on to another piece.
- If you offer them food the first time, you will have to offer them the next time.

Be wary of 'The Devastator'.


hahahha I'm 1/12 Devastator... ;p