Friday, October 9, 2009

Frustrations
I was very frustrated with myself yesterday, after my usual yoga class. We were doing some regular poses to help increase our flexibility, and no matter how hard I pushed myself... I just couldn't achieve the result I yearn for. My hips just won't let me. My arms just won't let me. My back just won't let me. My body just wouldn't let me.

:(

I can never fully do a standing forward bend without bending my legs. I can never do a seated forward bend, folding my whole body and hips forward. I can never do a full wheel pose without causing my upper thighs and lower back to cramp up and my arms wanting to just give way. I want so badly push myself to be more flexible. I want so badly to be able to lift myself up to a full wheel.

But my body won't let me :(

I am frustrated with myself. I asked myself, am I not pushing myself hard enough? Am I not trying hard enough?

I answer myself. I am pushing myself very hard. So much so I am willing to endure pain. When I spread and fold forward or push myself up, I can feel my skin about the rip apart. And yet I persevere because I want to push myself further. Try as hard as I may, yet I still cannot achieve what I want to achieve.

Maybe that's why I've been eating a lot lately.

I feel down. I feel frustrated. I feel sad. I feel emo today.

6 comments:

i think if you let go of that want, to achieve the pose.. and just practice with a mindset of just to enjoy the pose, although it is not a full arch.. i believe u can do it one day.

and when that day comes, you will savour it and enjoy yoga with a new insight.

i know you can.
ahimsa.

Awww... Come come I help you.

*CRACK*

Ooops!

MEDIC!!! MEEEDIIIC!!!

Time to leave yoga and switch to kamasutra oledi? :P

@jen yea, it's just one of those days when I suddenly feel so emo. ahimsa.

@doc u got kamasutra book ah?

Book? No need book! Go get Ah Beng DVD!

opening up takes time. a yoga instructor told me he took TWO YEARS of daily stretching to be able to do a split. you can't force your body. it'll come with time.

@doc ahbeng DVD boring la, not stylo mia

@anon tow years of daily stretching i reckon.