Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Only Time Will Heal
They say time will heal all wounds. Sometimes I feel even time alone may not be enough the heal all wounds.

A friend of mine lost her child in the second trimester recently. And it pains me to hear such news. Having gone through two miscarriages myself, I know the mental and emotional anguish one would go through when one is told of such sad news. Heck, it's been a few years since the 2 incidents and I'm still healing from it. Some days I can talk about it with ease, some days I can break down and just cry.

And to be honest, there are days when the news of some friends getting pregnant, or sometimes even the sight of a pregnant woman, can bring back some sad emotions, which I try as much to delete, but no matter how hard I try to forget, it will forever be in my memories. I've stopped asking questions which I know will never bring me any answers, hence that was one big part of my healing process. Although deep down inside, sometimes I do wish science can give me some explanation, to pacify me. Heh!

And you know what's the hardest part? When you hear words which were not meant to reach your ears. How some people would start commenting about your state and think there's something wrong with you, when there really isn't. Their ignorant and naive minds fail them completely, thus resulting in them uttering not-so-pleasant words. Even though they may not mean it, the words were spoken at the wrong time and just came out with a completely different meaning.

So yea, to those who think you know it all, shut the fuck up. You were spared from all that anguish, so consider yourself lucky. A miscarriage can happen at any trimester, at any moment when you least expect it to occur, right down to the the date of delivery and in the labour room. Have a heart, and if you have nothing to say, don't say anything.

To my dear friend, I hope that you are able to find the strength in yourself to weather through this difficult stage. If you need to talk to someone, do give me a call anytime and I'll try my best to comfort you. I may not be the best consultant in the world, but at least I can offer you a shoulder to cry on for a while.

2 comments:

*pat pat*
it is sad to hear so many cases of miscarriages these days. having friends who have gone through it, i share their grief.

be strong and shrug off the idiotic people who say such things ... they are the worst kind!

@piffles thks babe, i'm ok :) i hope my girlfren to find the strength as well. the statistics for miscarriages is very much higher compared to our parents' time due to many factors.